i'm here to have my 2nd entry for the day. couldn't fall asleep, so decided to drive the night bus and rush through all my assignments that i have yet done.

before that, there is a entry that i would like to post.

i'm 21st this year, and i feel that i haven't achieve anything much in life yet. i always tell my parents that i have grown up, but in reality, i think i've been selective on what i've actually "grown up" on. i think that i haven't been able to take care of myself yet. my mum always 'nags' at me on things that i've always felt annoyed at, but sometimes i think she is right. i'm 21, im 'old' enough, but i still couldn't put simple things straight.

one example is the washing of clothes. i've been relying on my mum to help me wash my clothes, when it could only take me like 2~3 mins to actually bring the laundry to the washing machine for a wash. i've always asked my parents to help me buy things for me which I could've gotten it myself after school, or even take a walk downstairs to the provenience store and get it on my own. i've always been slacking and relaxing, relying on others.

another concern is actually money issues. i've been living off on new year red packets and birthday red packets money. i haven't been doing anything to earn my own money. its like soooo long since i got myself a part time job. i've always used excuse as "this is my final semester of my school years, i want to concentrate on my studies". i think i'm just plain lazy, and now even if i wish to start a part time job, i can't. its like few weeks left till my final exam, which i think i should just wait until i finish off everything and go get a job.

theres something i would like to ask those that actually reads my blog. do you guys and girls feel comfortable going out alone or going out in groups?

recently i've been leaning into the side of going out alone. i feel that i have more freedom of choice on where i want to go, what i want to do. i don't have to worry about whether this or that person wants to go here or not. this or that person likes to eat this or not. this or that person is lazy to go here or not. this or that person agrees with me or not. its me and myself only. i do whatever i like. is this being emo? or being anti-social?
i think i have to start to work my body out soon. my body is super out of shape. i do not want to be SKINNY like how i was during secondary school, neither do i want to be fat like how i am now. i want to be fit. to have a nice curve, nice biceps, nice muscles etc. i know i'm dreaming, but its good to dream, and its good to persue a dream and make a dream come true.

alright i think i'm gonna stop here. will post some other time. for now gonna rush my EWEBAPP assignment and finish my cover letter + resume by today.